Blog

Photo by Mina Ivankovic on Unsplash - Image by @upklyak on freepik

Many of us have found ourselves faced with a feeling of being down and out, of having no inspiration or motivation, and it's not uncommon for this feeling to last for weeks, months or even years. Getting out of this dark cloud requires us to be proactive when we feel we can’t...

- Recognition -

The first steps in getting out of stagnation are to realise and admit that we are facing it. Let's be honest with ourselves about how we feel and why. And let's be indulgent, because pointing out what's wrong with us will also highlight the part we played in getting there, and there's no need to weigh things down by berating ourselves.

- The glass half full -

When we're feeling down about something, whether it's a big achievement or a small task, let's look back at how far we've come, the things we've done, and validate them. And remember, this is about recognising what we are capable of, reminding ourselves that we can get back up and move on, and not about valuing our social status.

- Introspection -

In psychology, introspection is the study of our perceptions, actions, emotions and inner demons. There are a few questions that can help us on the path of this exploration :

What's on my mind?

What do I need to feel better?

What is causing these negative feelings?

Is there anyone who can help me?

When we realise that we no longer have the desire or even the strength to do anything, let's not judge ourselves : we're not pathetic, we're simply exhausted, we've reached the end of our resources and we need to renew them, and this will take as long as it needs.

- Inner dialogues -

Unconsciously, we are in a constant battle with ourselves. That's why we need to scrutinise the words we use, both out loud and in our heads : our words and thoughts should reflect optimism, resolution and resilience.

- On the move -

Whether we're sad or happy, our bodies always give an indication of how we're feeling through the sound of our breath, the position of our shoulders and hands, and through our facial expressions. By adapting our body language, we also change our emotional state : acting on the things we can control will help us to reduce overthinking and anxiety (the key is to do this without oppressing ourselves).

Let's walk, dance and/or exercise... this will give us energy, even if it only lasts for the duration of the session. It's normal to be seized by more intense sensations (frustrations, grief) or for tears to appear. Becoming active again, in whatever form, brings out our demons so that we can exorcise them more effectively.

- Giving ourselves time -

It takes practice, but giving ourselves time and space to honour our feelings will open up a real dialogue between us and our emotional reactions. Even without motivation, we'll be able to work out who we really are, learn to differentiate our feelings, and going through the aspects we want to work on.

This will enable us to respond better when we lack motivation, or when we reach our limits of tolerance in the face of stupidity, obstacles and inconvenience.

We need to understand that there's no shame in taking time for ourselves, resting and recuperating. This can mean taking a day or two off from work or any other obligation we have, and simply doing things that make us feel good. It doesn't matter what we choose : sleeping, reading our favourite book, going for a walk, going out with friends and so on.

The key is not to put pressure on ourselves, to let go and do something that makes us feel good. Sometimes a break in our routine and a change of scenery are all we need to feel better equipped to emerge from a crisis.

- Out of the ordinary -

It's hard to be enthusiastic and full of life when the gauges are at zero. Whether it's trying new foods, going on an adventure in a new city or taking up a hobby that's been gathering dust, the idea is to get out of our comfort zone by trying new things. This will give us a window of opportunity to let our minds wander, dream and glimpse possibilities. At the same time, it can help us reconnect with ourselves and get a clear understanding of what has been stealing our energy.

In the heat of the moment, we have a tendency to find a solution for others, playing the hero to the detriment of our own well-being. Taking a step back, focusing on our personal growth, our ideas, our potential and our mission, will make our flame stronger, brighter and less easily perishable. A bit like a spiritual revelation that reminds us of our potential, our superpowers, and that our possibilities are the ones we give ourselves.

- The elements are our allies -

To make sure our minds are pointing in the right direction, we could spend 30 minutes a day reading a book, listening to music or watching something inspirational. Videos and audio can be very useful in helping us to find motivation. For example : listening to a motivational speech or treating ourselves with a guided meditation session can lift our spirits quite quickly.

- The reasons that guide us -

The reasons we do something are the driving force behind all our actions. But it's only when our reasons are strong and emotional enough that we'll do whatever it takes to really get the job done.

Motivation can easily be defined as the process that guides and maintains our behaviour focused on specific goals that are important to us. De-motivation, on the other hand, often lies in the lack of power of our reasons. So, when we have no motivation, let's think about why we want to do something. The more specific we are, the clearer the picture will be in our minds, the more reasons we will have to fight and achieve it.

- A break from social networking -

When we're scrolling through social media, we tend to compare our backstage drafts with the finished productions of others, and that's a recipe for disaster, because we don't know what's behind the scenes of all these fashion shows.

We don't have to give it up permanently, but simply keep our distance for a short time, to give ourselves a little time to refocus on ourselves and what we need (without comparing ourselves to others).

- Finding the right people -

If we are surrounded by negative people who only talk bitterly, with envy, that are back stabbing and gossiping to fill their inner emptiness, we will have no motivation to move forward. On the other hand, if we are surrounded by successful people who talk honestly about their growth and apprentice process, we will learn to use this environment positively to increase our energy level and get our hands dirty.

We can change our surroundings and not let ourselves be manipulated or wrongly influenced. Let's stay away from energy drainers and negative people, and make sure that our personal and professional circles make us want to open our eyes every morning and don't give us leaden feet.

- Asking for help -

It's not a sign of weakness as it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. It can come to aid to talk to someone who knows, loves and supports us. They can help us gain a new perspective and give us comfort and encouragement. Just knowing that we're not alone in what we're feeling can make a big difference. So let's reach out to a friend, family member or any other person we can trust to really be there for us. Sometimes all we need is a good chat to make us feel better. A therapist can also guide us to understand the causes of our negative feelings and give us advice on how to overcome them.

The main difference between being in crisis and being depressed is that a crisis is often short-lived, whereas depression is a longer-term condition. Depression can manifest itself in a number of ways, but is characterised by more serious symptoms such as a loss of interest in activities, an inability to get out of bed, endless tiredness, a lack of appetite or conversely unlimited hunger, and difficulty concentrating. Whatever the case, it's important to note that these conditions can overlap and that it's not always easy to tell them apart. It's always best to ask a professional for help.

- Sleeping -

If we don't get enough rest, our bodies can suffer negative effects, including cardiovascular problems, a weakened immune system, type II diabetes and mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Let's resist the temptation to check our e-mails just before going to sleep. Better still, let’s put our phone on plane mode while we sleep to reduce the risk of interruption closer to zero.

Conclusions

Feeling unmotivated affects everyone at some point, even people who enjoy every aspect of their lives. The crises are often temporary but can last a long time. The triggers can be random or more deeply rooted : a change of season, relationship drama, health problems, tension at work or a forgotten trauma resurfacing.

Perhaps it's time to analyse how we align our priorities, and identify the changes we could make to boost our well-being. Overcoming the doldrums means finding out what really matters to us, and taking small steps towards the energy we lack by starting with the little we have left.

What do you think?